Most people are not listening to you; they are waiting for their turn to speak.

You can tell by the response. It arrives too quickly, already fully formed, aimed at the first sentence rather than at the whole thing that was actually said.

Real listening is slower and slightly uncomfortable. It means holding your reply loosely, asking a second question, and allowing the person time to arrive at what they actually meant.

People rarely lead with the real matter. The complaint about money is often about respect. The argument about the schedule is usually about feeling taken for granted for a long time.